Tuesday, April 14, 2015


My fingernails are shot.  They are pitifully short, peeling and stained.  It only takes one glance down at my hands to make me remember what work they have been doing.  In the last three months they have cleaned, painted, stained, sanded, sealed, picked up and carried.  It only takes one glance to make me realize how easily your brain and therefore how you carry about your life can be overcome with one thing.

Our mission team is hosting a craft market and I get to be a vendor.  As silly as it may sound to some, this is very close to a dream coming true.  In my mind I have always wanted to create for not just myself but for others as well.  I love crafting.  I love making the mundane beautiful.  I love seeing something different in an item and figuring out how to make it useful.  When the bible says that all things reveal the character of God I firmly believe the things we create, no matter in what way, show us Him.  I believe it so much so that I wrote about the craftiness of God.

In the past year and a half God has revealed many things to me about myself.  Things that give me comfort and smiles and things that hit me hard and reduced me to tears, but all things that were welcomed (eventually) and needed.  I feel like I am finally beginning to know myself well, so well that I even anticipated the happening of being too wrapped up into things and asked several people to pray for me about it and keep me accountable.  I can very much see how gracious God has been in answering their prayers because I have felt quite free of stress overall and more excited than obsessed.  Big Success!

  If you talk to Zach he might have viewed things different but at least he without a doubt can agree that I could, and in the past have been, much worse.  Of course no matter how hard you try it is impossible keep your life free of idols and distractions.  Even ones as cute as chalkboards and welcome signs.  But I am truly thankful that God is faithful in all things, in HUGE earth shattering difficulties of the past and small, fun, inconsequential, to some, things of the present.

The sale is this weekend and I am so ready.  I'm ready to share my heart for creating with others.  I'm ready to see the art others have created to the glory of God.  I'm ready to see if anyone wants my stuff.  I'm ready to, hopefully, earn a lot towards my trip to see the people of Romania again this summer.  And I'm ready for it to be finished so that I can get back to my life where my evenings and afternoons are completely devoted to my family and the building of our home together and writing about the day to day of our lives instead of the destruction of my fingernails.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

sunday song

It is often difficult to hold on to joy, to find it everyday in the everyday.  In the world we think of joy as meaning happiness that comes from success or good fortune.  In our Christian lives, we know joy can be found in the deepest sorrow, because joy doesn't depend on the situations you are in.  Joy comes from one source, Christ. 

 That is why Paul and Silas could sing praises from the prison.  That is why hearts of parents mourning the loss of their child can give glory to God.  In the midst of our pain caused by the fallen world we live in we can have joy because we have a Savior who has given us everything.  He is the joy lighting our soul and we trust Him with our all.

We're choosing celebration
Breaking into freedom
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts

We cast aside our shadows
Trust You with our sorrows
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts

We're dancing to the rhythm of Your heart
We're rising from the ashes to the stars
You're the joy joy joy lighting my soul
The joy joy joy making me whole
Though I'm broken, I am running
Into Your arms of love

The pain will not define us
Joy will reignite us
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts

The dark is just a canvas
For Your grace and brightness
You're the song
You're the song
Of our hearts

We're dancing to the rhythm of Your heart
We're rising from the ashes to the stars

You're the joy joy joy lighting my soul
The joy joy joy making me whole
Though I'm broken, I am running
Into Your arms of love
You're the joy
The song in my heart
The hope of my soul

In the shadows
In the sorrows
In the desert
When the pain hits
You are constant
You're the song of my heart
You're the joy joy joy lighting my soul
The joy joy joy making me whole
Though I'm broken, I am running
Into Your arms of love
Into Your arms

Read more: Rend Collective - Joy Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Friday, March 27, 2015

phone pic friday

Jars for the Spring Craft Market

Logan took a series of pictures of me doing burpees at Crossfit Monday when he was supposed to be sitting on the couch playing.

Logan and I have a movie Monday every Monday during rest time.  We watched Star Wars which explains the Luke costume and light saber.

Car Line Napper!

I spotted a punching bag for $25 at goodwill.  I wanted it SOOO bad!

About to start a new book!

My dog of 14 1/2 years died on Monday.  My sweet friend who moved away last year sent me this beautiful hydrangea.  I'm so excited about planting it for Daisy at our new home!

I've been working on my products for the sale this week big time!  This is one of the stool "tables" I made.

Micah had a serious blonde moment and stepped in the middle of my chalkboard.  He felt terrible!

Beautiful weather calls for lunch in the fort with my little jedi.

It isn't often that Micah and Logan get alone time together so while Zach was with Connor at batting practice I enjoyed watching this two.

Tomorrow is the opening day of the boys' baseball season and I wanted to watch a baseball movie for movie night.  This one is called Everyone's Hero and it was really cute.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

sunday song

Jesus, I my cross have taken, 
All to leave and follow Thee; 
Destitute, despised, forsaken, 
Thou from hence my all shalt be: 
Perish every fond ambition, 
All I’ve sought or hoped or known; 
Yet how rich is my condition, 
God and heav’n are still my own!

Let the world despise and leave me, 
They have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me;
Though art not, like them, untrue.
O while Thou dost smile upon me,
God of wisdom, love and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me, 
Show Thy face and all is bright

Man may trouble and distress me, 
‘Twill but drive me to Thy breast; 
Life with trials hard may press me, 
Heav’n will bring me sweeter rest. 
O ‘tis not in grief to harm me, 
While Thy love is left to me; 
O ‘twere not in joy to charm me, 
Were that joy unmixed with Thee. 

Hasten on from grace to glory, 
Armed by faith and winged by prayer; 
Heav’n’s eternal days before me, 
God’s own hand shall guide me there. 
Soon shall close my earthly mission, 
Swift shall pass my pilgrim days, 
Hope shall change to glad fruition, 
Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

Words by Henry F. Lyte, Music by Jeff Bourque

Friday, March 20, 2015

phone pic friday

Here are a couple of weeks worth...

Connor has been building original Lego creations so he can get his picture in Lego Magazine.  
This one is a dog.

This is his lion.

Logan asks everyday if we can play on PBSkids.org.  Counting meatballs is his favorite.

Zach got home from a 4 day trip with his brothers and two brothers in law for Joel's bachelor party.  He brought me Utah to add to my collection.

Logan, Connor and I took a trip to Lowes and I bought lots of stuff for the craft market that I am a vendor in.  Now I just need a lot of pretty days to get all the painting done!

Spring means baseball season which means lots of early dinners or dinner at the ballfield.

My friend Megan gave me one of her Texas plates.  24 and counting!!

I've had some difficult parenting moments with this cutie the last few weeks so we were in desperate need of some good times.  We had a little treat yo'self afternoon at the japanese steakhouse and Old Navy.

Last weekend we had a fundraising dinner and auction for our team's trip to Romania.  Logan won a chocolate cake.  That same chocolate cake is half gone and in the freezer because I have ZERO will power when it comes to chocolate and am pretty much the reason half of it went missing.

Captain America was so kind to come and help sand some jars for the craft market.

This is Connor's last "gumball".  He passed his last set of sight words and has graduated to AR tests.  Such an exciting day!

Zach spent Tuesday evening with some guy friends checking out some stuff at our almost house and then moving an organ for a friend.  I spent the evening watching a good ol chick flick and painting chalkboards.  It was St. Patrick's Day after all :)

Sometimes rest time turns into snuggle time.  My baby is losing his babyness.

Carline napping while listening to All Sons and Daughters.  Works everytime.

The day was too beautiful not to be outside so during Micah's piano lesson we played outside at his teacher's house.

This one takes some explaining.  Friday is my day to sleep in but Zach had to work until about 2am this morning so I graciously said I'd do the usual pre school activities except because Friday is my day to sleep in my alarm wasn't set.  I woke up at 6:47 which is 13 minutes before we usually leave for school.  I was so proud that we were up, dressed, breakfasts in hand and out the door with no drama in less than 20 minutes.  Then this happened.  Ugh.  When the cop got to my window I just looked and said you'll have to tell me what I did because I have no clue.  Apparently there was a pesky stop sign I forgot to stop at.  He thankfully just gave me a warning after 10 minutes of sitting while ALL the school traffic raced beside me.  Connor made sure to remind me when I was coming up to the next stop sign that I needed to stop.  We were still on time to school though!!

Thursday, March 19, 2015

our home

This time six years ago as my belly was growing steadily with Connor inside, a cute little yellow house had been host to a for sale sign for two short months.  In my mind that was plenty of time for someone to see it and want it and for me to be well on my way to a new place to house my family.  HGTV and all it's house huntering shows had pretty much screwed up my view of reality.  Two more short months later that little yellow house housed two blond baby boys and their parents and the sign sat.

 A year after said sign graced said yard, I wrote a poem completely in jest and kept waiting while battling all sorts of questions in my mind.  Oh the hows and whys and whats that I asked God over and over.  Time continued to go by, as it always does, and my belly grew steadily again with the one we know as The Logi Bear, and the thought of staring at the sign any longer and having to attempt to clean anything at a moments noticed started giving me heart palpitations. So the sign was removed and I, who God had been continually teaching contentment, kept rearranging rooms to fit all the people and paraphanalia and soon our little home held three blond baby boys.

Another year and a half went by, and we met new friends who fell in love and were planning to get married, and they just happened to think our little yellow house was just as cute as we did.  Our plan of selling changed and we handed our starter home over to another couple just getting started as a rental, and came across a good halfway house a little closer to school but still close to everyone else, and the next wait began.  Little did I know at the time that this new place would become a haven in the midst of the most difficult to date season of my life.  I have thanked God so much that the memories of this time are locked in a home that we knew would be temporary.  

After a year in our rental, we thought we had found "THE" place.  It was an old Victorian Farmhouse, and while I was leery at first, I became full of thoughts of renovations and figuring out how to somehow let this home one day grace the cover of Southern Living.  Big Dreamer!  It didn't take long to see that the project would not only be much bigger than imagined, but would probably be a big mistake, investment wise. So we signed another year lease on our little safe haven and vowed to make the second year full of those kinds of memories you long to hold on to.

Another year of growing in love for God and each other has happened, and His faithfulness never faltered, as it never does.  Zach found a place on line a few weeks ago that we went to visit, and all signs pointed to a big fat yes, until some water damage proved otherwise. Yet again, I was left with the lesson that things are not always as they seem, and that God always knows better, and walking with Him is just a more peaceful way to live even if in your limited understanding dreams appear to be being crushed.    

Then, two weeks ago tomorrow, we walked into an old 1950s home whose present owners have been there for almost 40 years.  We spent a total of 9 minutes looking around, we had to fit in the visit before 9:15 am, because the remainder of the day involved a bible study, consignment sale shopping visit, and drive to Enterprise for me, and packing for a 5 day trip to Utah for Zach.

 Something about this home spoke to us both. My personality for weighing pros and cons, "moving in" to a space in my mind, and peaceful decision making was outweighed by my love's adventurous spirit and feeling of good vibes. So the love of the location and the sense of urgency that it would be snapped up by someone else soon resulted in an offer being placed and accepted in a one hour period. While driving with the three boys on I-85, I received the news that I had been waiting both patiently and impatiently for for 6 years. (which in the grand scheme of things is really just a pittance of time.)

While there were still a couple doubts and nauseous feelings for a few days as Zach was out of pocket in the mountains, soon we were able to talk and weigh and dream, and the result was still a yes.  While I was so happy that my nervous nausea was finally turned into excitement, there was a foggy "what just happened" shock that had my thoughts a bit frozen.

Somehow, just like those first two months of HGTV expectations, I had been waiting for this big writing on the wall, fanfare and parade moment.  I just knew that this place that had felt like we were waiting for for so long would be introduced to us with much pomp and circumstance, but it didn't.  It came in a quick whirlwind of confusion and simplicity, surety and doubt, in belief and unbelief.  Pretty much like almost all things that come from God.

He does things that change the course of your life in small and simple ways.  Ways we insist we understand, but do not have the capability of truly understanding.  For the ultimate example, right now we are entrenched in this Lenten season, studying a part of history where we praise Him for this one act of sacrifice that was both a simple act of submission, yet a huge, life altering fulfillment of an eternal plan for all humanity. For what we can look back on and see as an obvious answer to prophecy, at that time even Jesus's closest followers who were told and taught and warned and watched it all occur didn't truly get it.

I have no idea why God chose this home.  I have no idea why it happened in such a whirlwind fashion.  But I know that His faithfulness has never faltered, and His plan has never been proven wrong.  This place that will, God willing, become our home in less than two months no matter how beautiful or perfect or budget friendly or full of potential, is just a place.  My home is wherever He guides, where He is, wherever He abides.  My home is with Him and the people He has given me to share it with.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

an inner disposition

Last October I began a new writing venture.  Occasionally I have shared more here than just the three blond boys I hang out with all the time, but my heart, mind and soul wanted more and more to share what it was learning and thinking more frequently, in a more organized way and a little more officially than the numerous notebooks piled in the basket next to my comfy brown chair. However, I wasn't quite ready to share it with all the world, and by all the world I mean the few people who get entertainment ever so often from pictures of those said blond boys. So it's been sitting there viewed by a few "strangers" and some other sets of very wonderful and loving eyes, but mostly just out there in a space that wasn't just in my head but wasn't quite real either.

So I'm here to tell you it exists and if you want to read or follow or think about reading or following I'd love for you to.  If you want to not do any of those things that's totally fine too.  God has been showing me the importance and blessing of being completely transparent, because if you can see through me then hopefully that means you can see Christ in me.  So here I am, transparent, saying that He's done so much, and with my weak words I want to share with whoever will read as much as I can about what He has done.

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