Tuesday, May 26, 2015

tears of may

May has been a whopper.  It always is, for everyone it seems.  You wait through the dreariness of winter, or mildness of Georgia winters, ready for flowers and sunshine, spring winds and peaceful days outside and then May comes with all its beauty.  You think yes this is what I've been waiting for now let me sit and enjoy because, much like childbirth you have forgotten all the not so wonderfuls.

The month of May never fails to produce a calendar so full it has me actually loving that I no longer carry around my cute planner with my pens for color coordinating schedules.  Praise the Lord for Google calendar and it's infinite space availability in those boxes.  Yes please add another + to show the 18 other things I have on the same day.

May marks the end of everything.  It's like a program spring cleaning to get out all the stuff before the lazy days of summer.  For anyone with school aged children and/or children who do extracurricular activities, May is full of field days, field trips, award ceremonies, graduations,  baseball games, soccer games, piano recitals,  dance recitals, end of year parties, appreciating teachers, and the list can keep going.   Add in mother's day and memorial day and the calendar is getting a bit heavy. 

Our May always includes our middle man's birthday, but also this year we added fundraising/getting ready for a mission tripto Romania, the wedding of my youngest brother in law (Zach's youngest brother) who is the 6th and final sibling to get married, as well as our moving to a new home and all the preparations that come with it.  There's LOTS of preparations.  In fact our May this year has been so insanely busy that I can barely remember what we've done because as one thing goes zooming past another is not just quickly approaching but has already parked up front.

There has been so much to do that I think I could stay awake 24 hours straight without sitting down for weeks on end and not make a dent.  But in this short season,  PLEASE Lord let it be a short season,  God has given me the wonderful gift of being able to just let things go. 

I have been known to be a person who attempts to do "all the things" but as more and more piles upon my plate, my heart grows more and more content with the fact that not only can I not do it all, but I'm not supposed to be able to.  This is not so much a new lesson,  but a new area of life the lesson is seeping into which is just another thing to be thankful for. 

God and his gracious self has taken one sinful part of my heart, the sin of self righteousness made known to me over a year and a half ago, and has slowly shown me not just how it had overtaken so many facets of life but how in each facet He radically changes it to a complete trust and reliance on Him.  Our spiritual lives affect every part of us, and I am thankful to welcome Him in all of me,  especially in the places I would never remember on my own!

I have succumbed to tears many times this past month but honestly and so thankfully, not in the way I once would have.   My tears have, so far, come from immense and overwhelmingly feelings of thankfulness.  Thankfulness for the steps along our path of moving onward to what God has in our future while enjoying and noticing the wonderful things of the present.   It's not all May flowers and birds singing,  there are plenty of storms and rocky paths, more so it seems but there is an ever faithful God planning the way and an ever present Spirit bringing joy and peace.

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