journeying with Jotham

"Christmas time's a comin'", the song my Dad so lovingly and loudly sings every year has been looping in my brain for a solid week now as well as "It's Christmas, it's Christmas time" my own parody of a flight of the Conchords song.

I love Christmas.  I love the suspense and anticipation.  I love the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas morning and the days full of traditions.  The beginning of last years advent season was frustrating and overwhelming, but lessons were learned, the hard way but learned, and my heart is more prepared for the busyness of these weeks even if I or my calendar may not completely be.  One new thing we are doing this year is reading an advent story I bought during the season last year.  It is called Jotham's journey and each night is the next chapter of the saga of a boy named Jotham on a journey to find his family after his own selfishness and anger separates them.  

The boys love it and there is a groan each night as the chapter ends with a cliffhanger and they have to wait to see what happens next.  I honestly love it too.  I love it because it really is a great story.  I love it because I get to cuddle on the couch with all my fellas each night to see what happens next.  I love it because we all stop and sit and listen and are actively concentrating on the promises that were given and kept so long ago.  I love it because, like all stories of truth, I need to hear it again and again so it becomes a part of me and flows out of me onto everything around.

I constantly think about what I could be doing better.  How can I parent better?  How can I be a better wife?  How can I be a better friend?  I'm more truthfully not really thinking of how I can be better as much as I'm constantly plagued with how I'm not being a better 'insert role here'.  

As we read this story of this boy living out the consequences of his actions, plagued with guilt that had he just done better none of this would have happened, I think about all the lessons he is learning along the way and pray that my lesson this advent season is one of learning and not concentrating on my failures but focused on the opportunities to learn and grow.