our home

This time six years ago as my belly was growing steadily with Connor inside, a cute little yellow house had been host to a for sale sign for two short months.  In my mind that was plenty of time for someone to see it and want it and for me to be well on my way to a new place to house my family.  HGTV and all it's house huntering shows had pretty much screwed up my view of reality.  Two more short months later that little yellow house housed two blond baby boys and their parents and the sign sat.

 A year after said sign graced said yard, I wrote a poem completely in jest and kept waiting while battling all sorts of questions in my mind.  Oh the hows and whys and whats that I asked God over and over.  Time continued to go by, as it always does, and my belly grew steadily again with the one we know as The Logi Bear, and the thought of staring at the sign any longer and having to attempt to clean anything at a moments noticed started giving me heart palpitations. So the sign was removed and I, who God had been continually teaching contentment, kept rearranging rooms to fit all the people and paraphanalia and soon our little home held three blond baby boys.

Another year and a half went by, and we met new friends who fell in love and were planning to get married, and they just happened to think our little yellow house was just as cute as we did.  Our plan of selling changed and we handed our starter home over to another couple just getting started as a rental, and came across a good halfway house a little closer to school but still close to everyone else, and the next wait began.  Little did I know at the time that this new place would become a haven in the midst of the most difficult to date season of my life.  I have thanked God so much that the memories of this time are locked in a home that we knew would be temporary.  

After a year in our rental, we thought we had found "THE" place.  It was an old Victorian Farmhouse, and while I was leery at first, I became full of thoughts of renovations and figuring out how to somehow let this home one day grace the cover of Southern Living.  Big Dreamer!  It didn't take long to see that the project would not only be much bigger than imagined, but would probably be a big mistake, investment wise. So we signed another year lease on our little safe haven and vowed to make the second year full of those kinds of memories you long to hold on to.

Another year of growing in love for God and each other has happened, and His faithfulness never faltered, as it never does.  Zach found a place on line a few weeks ago that we went to visit, and all signs pointed to a big fat yes, until some water damage proved otherwise. Yet again, I was left with the lesson that things are not always as they seem, and that God always knows better, and walking with Him is just a more peaceful way to live even if in your limited understanding dreams appear to be being crushed.    

Then, two weeks ago tomorrow, we walked into an old 1950s home whose present owners have been there for almost 40 years.  We spent a total of 9 minutes looking around, we had to fit in the visit before 9:15 am, because the remainder of the day involved a bible study, consignment sale shopping visit, and drive to Enterprise for me, and packing for a 5 day trip to Utah for Zach.

 Something about this home spoke to us both. My personality for weighing pros and cons, "moving in" to a space in my mind, and peaceful decision making was outweighed by my love's adventurous spirit and feeling of good vibes. So the love of the location and the sense of urgency that it would be snapped up by someone else soon resulted in an offer being placed and accepted in a one hour period. While driving with the three boys on I-85, I received the news that I had been waiting both patiently and impatiently for for 6 years. (which in the grand scheme of things is really just a pittance of time.)

While there were still a couple doubts and nauseous feelings for a few days as Zach was out of pocket in the mountains, soon we were able to talk and weigh and dream, and the result was still a yes.  While I was so happy that my nervous nausea was finally turned into excitement, there was a foggy "what just happened" shock that had my thoughts a bit frozen.

Somehow, just like those first two months of HGTV expectations, I had been waiting for this big writing on the wall, fanfare and parade moment.  I just knew that this place that had felt like we were waiting for for so long would be introduced to us with much pomp and circumstance, but it didn't.  It came in a quick whirlwind of confusion and simplicity, surety and doubt, in belief and unbelief.  Pretty much like almost all things that come from God.

He does things that change the course of your life in small and simple ways.  Ways we insist we understand, but do not have the capability of truly understanding.  For the ultimate example, right now we are entrenched in this Lenten season, studying a part of history where we praise Him for this one act of sacrifice that was both a simple act of submission, yet a huge, life altering fulfillment of an eternal plan for all humanity. For what we can look back on and see as an obvious answer to prophecy, at that time even Jesus's closest followers who were told and taught and warned and watched it all occur didn't truly get it.

I have no idea why God chose this home.  I have no idea why it happened in such a whirlwind fashion.  But I know that His faithfulness has never faltered, and His plan has never been proven wrong.  This place that will, God willing, become our home in less than two months no matter how beautiful or perfect or budget friendly or full of potential, is just a place.  My home is wherever He guides, where He is, wherever He abides.  My home is with Him and the people He has given me to share it with.