demolition down the street

Just down the street from our house the city is building a new park!  We are so excited about it coming and can't wait to ride our bikes to our very own neighborhood park.  On the property where the park will be was an old house.  Because Zach is on the park committee he had inside info on when the house was being demolished so he took the boys to go watch the demolition.  Nothing like wrecking things to provide entertainment for a bunch of guys!

connor turns 8

Our sweet, tough, sensitive, hilarious Connorconnor turned 8.  This boy has such a spirit of adventure and independence and one day He is most definitely going to fly and I just pray he desires to come down to his roots occasionally.  

His birthday day started with his chalkboard welcome message and a breakfast of BoBerry biscuits and presents.  He received Lloyd's dragon Ninjago Lego set, a Rainbow Loom, and catcher's gear.

After school he worked on his Lego set until Zach got home and then they immediately started catching lessons.  He can not wait to move up into the league where the catcher actually matters!  His fearless personality will carry him far in that position however his sensitivity to pain might get in the way.  We'll see which one wins out!

For his birthday dinner, Connor chose Tokyo and once again he, Zach and Micah demolished 40 pieces of sushi.  During dinner he had his annual birthday interview.  Their answers always crack me up and make me thankful that they are growing up so well with so many interests and yet hang on to many of the same things throughout the years.

8th Birthday interview

favorite color- blue, purple, black (aka Rockies colors)

favorite food- sushi, crab, shrimp, salad

favorite snack- spicy hot funions, buffalo chicken roller (from QT)

favorite dessert- ice cream cake

favorite drink- all the mountain dews

favorite sport- baseball, football

favorite sports teams- Rockies, Auburn, USA

favorite athletes- Tyler Chatwood, Cam Newton

favorite games- Clue, Koob, Monopoly

favorite friends- Mican, Noah, Trenton, Kaden, Jake, and Zach

favorite TV show- Ninjago, Mythbusters, Man vs Wild, Curious George, Brain Games

favorite movie- Star Wars 3, Pirates 1, 2, and 3, 3 Ninjas

When I grow up I want to be a baseball catcher

Connor you are the perfect middle man to our trio and we love you oh so very much!

fourth of july

This was our second 4th of July in Oxford and it was even more fun that the first.  Mainly because we were able to watch the parade in the sunshine instead of a monsoon like last year.  The annual Oxford parade's route goes right in front of our house so we invited friends and neighbors to camp out in the front yard to watch.

We had one unfun moment when a friend of Connor's fell when climbing a tree.  While we knew he wasn't dangerously injured, his parents called an ambulance just in case under the suggestion of a neighbor friend who just happened to be a retired EMT.  Sweet Zach ended up having a broken collarbone and bounced back pretty quickly but bless all of our hearts for the fear we were each filling when we heard the tumble.

After the parade we had invited friends to spend the day swimming, playing yard games, and grilling out.  There ended up being a big crowd of 30+ folks and we all had a blast.  One dad taught the boys a game to play in the pool where you "hide" a toothpick on the bottom of the deep end and then wait for it to float up.  The first one to jump in and grab it from the surface gets to be the next hider.  They have played this game for hours since!

After a restful afternoon and lots of packing for our next day beach trip, we headed closer to The Square in Covington to watch the fireworks.  One of my favorite parts was seeing our main highway with parking lots filled with friends on blankets and chairs ready to watch plus the thousands crowded near the square the same way.  Seeing a community together in a shared experience gives a small town added charm.

God Bless America!

painting on the porch

Before pollen started overtaking our porch and after it had begun to warm up to those beautiful Spring temperatures that I love but never stick around for too long, Connor wanted to paint with me.  We sat on the porch for over an hour with acrylics for us, watercolors for Logan and a stack of paper. 

Artistic painting is not my best crafty outlet but it's still fun and after I painted my word wait in the corner of one of my "pieces" Connor painted one with the word kind and then hung it up in his room.  

And as you can see Obi enjoyed the process as well.

word for 2016

I'm easing into my new year goals, plans and resolutions this year which for me is a considerable task and an intentional change of pace.  I'm a big fan of following along different blogs and instagram feeds for both entertainment and inspiration and it never fails that on January 1st almost all of the writers, decorators and what not are full force into the next thing.  Lists are being shared, houses are already being decluttered, diets have begun, redecorating and undecorating, and planning overwhelm all my feeds.  Looking back to past years I am learning that as much as I love seeing the different things these inspire-rs are cooking up, literally and figuratively, part of me always begins to feel a little defeated because I have not yet begun such in my life and then I either stress to catch up to the rest or I quit before I've even begun.

For the past several years I have chosen a word to focus my goals and plans around.  A word that does not mark something I am good at but something God is most definitely asking me to improve on whether accomplishing takes the calendar year, a few years or the rest of my time on this earth (which I hope is considerable).  It was no surprise to me that the word He has guided me towards for 2016 is WAIT.  

 God is preparing big things, He always is of course, but we can feel the suspense of new paths coming soon and knowing my tendency to either try and do ALL the things or the ostrich impersonation I have been know to take on when ALL the things are in fact not doable, I am being asked to wait.  I am fully confident this is not an answer of 'not yet' but instead a command to trust Him as He is working knowing that the times when life look stagnant is when plans are being lived out until the day of fruition comes.  

However, wait does not have to mean sitting in my seat, thumbs twiddling, until my name is called.  Says Mr. Oswald Chambers, "To wait upon God IS NOT to wait with folded hands and do nothing, but to wait as men who wait for the harvest.  The farmer does not wait idly but with intense activity; he keeps industriously "at it" until the harvest.  To wait upon God is the perfection of activity.  We are told to 'rest in the Lord,' not to rust."    

One of my favorite verses is 1 Peter 1:13 which says, "Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ."  My mind is being prepared, so that my actions will follow and in the end my Hope, no matter what does or does not take place, is revealed in Christ.

To help with this process I have searched for different ways I can wait.  To wait means to be patient, to focus, to prepare, to slow down, to enjoy; making the most of life as it is right now, to think through and not be rash.  For me this means not diligently posting my resolutions on January 1st because that is the thing to do.  It means walking downstairs to grab the vacuum instead of rushing to get the task checked off.  It means listening to my son's last few sentences without cutting him off no matter how much I want the nightly bedtime routine to be finished.  It means pondering before responding, saying let me think before saying yes I will, and listening fully to my sweet boys' requests instead of just saying no.  It means slowly and intentionally going through verses calling us to wait and seeing what God does in that time.

 So I wait and prepare with these words fueling my goals, my plans, my resolutions, my thoughts, and my actions.  Waiting, with purpose.

journeying with Jotham

"Christmas time's a comin'", the song my Dad so lovingly and loudly sings every year has been looping in my brain for a solid week now as well as "It's Christmas, it's Christmas time" my own parody of a flight of the Conchords song.

I love Christmas.  I love the suspense and anticipation.  I love the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas morning and the days full of traditions.  The beginning of last years advent season was frustrating and overwhelming, but lessons were learned, the hard way but learned, and my heart is more prepared for the busyness of these weeks even if I or my calendar may not completely be.  One new thing we are doing this year is reading an advent story I bought during the season last year.  It is called Jotham's journey and each night is the next chapter of the saga of a boy named Jotham on a journey to find his family after his own selfishness and anger separates them.  

The boys love it and there is a groan each night as the chapter ends with a cliffhanger and they have to wait to see what happens next.  I honestly love it too.  I love it because it really is a great story.  I love it because I get to cuddle on the couch with all my fellas each night to see what happens next.  I love it because we all stop and sit and listen and are actively concentrating on the promises that were given and kept so long ago.  I love it because, like all stories of truth, I need to hear it again and again so it becomes a part of me and flows out of me onto everything around.

I constantly think about what I could be doing better.  How can I parent better?  How can I be a better wife?  How can I be a better friend?  I'm more truthfully not really thinking of how I can be better as much as I'm constantly plagued with how I'm not being a better 'insert role here'.  

As we read this story of this boy living out the consequences of his actions, plagued with guilt that had he just done better none of this would have happened, I think about all the lessons he is learning along the way and pray that my lesson this advent season is one of learning and not concentrating on my failures but focused on the opportunities to learn and grow.

clearly, fuzzy future

There's another place on the interwebs where I write thoughts, share my heart, and lift my eyes and words to my Creator.  While technically public, it's a very private space that though I've mentioned before doesn't get shared openly on a regular basis, more like once months and months ago in a moment of sheer uncharacteristic bravery.

To put yourself out there, laid bare, in front of the world (or in truth a minute group of friendly readers made up of friends and family and the occasional Googler) is a daunting, beautiful, but daunting, necessary, but daunting, encouraging, but daunting thing.  To share my deepest struggles and my most beloved learned (the hard way) lessons is both my wildest dream yet my biggest fear.  The first fear being what makes me think I have anything to offer when many have suffered grief much larger and more often than mine, with many other fears following, but that's a different post for another time.

I know somewhere in the distant, or maybe not so distant future, God is calling me to walk alongside and encourage others in their own difficult journeys.  To show them where the only true Hope comes from and how to see it no matter the struggle and no matter how many times giving up seems like the better answer.  No matter how many times you fail, repent, and start again.  And I'm quite experienced at the fail, repent, repeat part.

I have no clue in what venue this will take place.  If it will be a paid profession or just a constant part of my life no matter what I'm actually paid to do.  All I know is that I feel a calling on my heart to give away what I've been given and that this last remaining year of my current stay at home mommy job will include preparing for this somewhat clear but quite fuzzy future.

This desire has only intensified in my heart and mind these last few weeks as friends and family are on their knees in prayer seeking comfort in their questioning.  My heart longs to speak into the doubt, to remind that He draws us closer to Him often using times of uncertainty and times of downright difficult so that we know from where our help comes from.  So that we clearly see the only boasting we can do is for Him remembering that even our best is filthy rags and its not by our might or power but by His Spirit that things are done.  And if I'm honest, I need to preach these words to myself just as much, if not more.

Recently I shared about mentally following worst case scenario roads to the end because without fail you'll always find your Heavenly Father there because He never fails even if things on earth do.  This is a much needed exercise for all of us, in all worst case fears, so that we are reminded that the things on earth are temporary but He is eternal (2 Cor. 4:18). 

However, just because in my imagination I let my biggest fears play out, the tangible, life living circumstances have not yet reached those same conclusions.  Maybe they will, and if they do I will cling to the Hope of my Father not only waiting for me at the end but walking me through it all.  But more than likely, life will not live out the way I can conjure up in my mind.  What I have imagined, is not what will be.  Our intellect and creativity, however extraordinary, fine tuned, and exercised, can never compare to the vastness of the One who created it all from nothing with nothing but His words.

On the other side it also does not give me the excuse to sit idly and wait as if I am unuseful, untalented lump or give me an excuse to kick back to my often practiced ostrich skills of sticking my head in the sand and waiting until all the hard stuff blows over.  What it means is I pray that I'm following the will of the Lord and while I wait, I work, trusting that it will not be in vain. 

Just this evening in the car as I finished up my kindred spirit's* (though we've never met and she has no clue who I am) most recent book, it spoke directly to this feeling by saying biblical rest is "to be able to sit down on the inside even as my hands are fast at work".

Following that mental road to the end and then living the true reality in fullness is about one thing, gaining the peace that comes from abiding in Christ.  Then it allows you to work with no fear of the future, but only joy that you are being used in small ways for a bigger story.

Good news indeed to this weary, fearful, doubtful soul.  Praying, repenting and trying again, again.

*Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman

family days

We were able to host Zach's whole family for the day a couple weeks ago which basically means one of our dreams for our home is coming true.  I can't wait to host both of our families for get togethers, holidays if needed, weekend retreats, etc.  Dreams are big for future spaces to be added to make it a comfy place to be and stay.

Until then, long days of swimming, talking, eating, sprinting, walking, Kubb and all other things one family can fit into a 12 hour period will just have to do.  We loved having everyone over and introducing them to our new home and neighborhood.  I'm excited for many more times with both of our families in the future!