Wednesday, May 5, 2010

connor's story

When Connor was born I wrote a very brief post about his birth. At the time I was having conflicting feelings between having had an amazingly sweet and healthy baby boy while knowing people who had lost children or whose children were struggling for survival. Part of me didn't feel right about sharing the whole thing. I know that might sound ridiculous to some but every time I tried to write the story my brain just couldn't process and separate the situations. These days those two babies who were struggling for survival just celebrated their first birthday as sweet precocious little twins and the family who lost their sweet baby boy have gone through a season I can't even imagine and have come out of it with a faith stronger than ever and inspirational to all. So for my baby's upcoming first birthday I wanted to share the story that I wrote for his scrapbook.

Connor’s Story

In your daddy’s family there is a tradition to tell the child’s birth story on their birthday. I have been present for many of these and while there are always some (many!) jokes and witty statements interjected by your aunts and uncles, it is a sweet time of remembering and being thankful for the life and presence of the individual. Here is your story...

When Micah was around 18 months old we made the decision to try and grow our family. Praise God that getting pregnant has never been a difficulty so a short few weeks later we found out you were there, inside, growing, and getting ready to make us a family of four. I was exhausted the first few months of the pregnancy and, of course, sick as a dog for sometime after that, but you will always be worth it. Because I had done all this before I felt your kicks and movements long before I had ever felt your brother’s. You laid low a lot more and had me assuming, wrongly may I add, that you were going to be a quiet one! The sounds of peoples voices always made you spring into action though. In church you were as still as could be during singing but as soon as Dave began preaching the somersaults would start. I often think about what that will say about you in the future and pray you will forever perk up at the Word of God.

After month 5 I felt good as knew and enjoyed being with Micah alone for those last moments but anxiously waiting to see if a boy or girl would be joining our fun soon. At 28 weeks your daddy, Micah and I went to the doctor to find out just what was in there. I have to be honest and tell you I thought it was a girl but was INSTANTLY overjoyed when I found out another baby boy was joining the family. You were precious in the sonogram. Your little arm was tucked up under your chin and you had the same nose as your brother. The May boys were going to be a handsome bunch! As soon as we got home we started making lists and lists and lists of names. We knew your middle name would be Thomas after Poppy and Uncle Andrew but the first name was up for grabs. Finally 3 days before you were born we gave Micah two choices to name his baby brother and he picked Connor.

The day you were due I went to the doctor for my regular check up and was put on a fetal monitor just to see how things were going. Dr. Duhart came in to tell me I was having mild contractions so she would just go ahead and send me over to the hospital to be induced. WOW!! I wasn’t expecting it to be ‘time’ so I was overwhelmed with excitement and nerves. I drove home talking on my phone the whole way home letting everyone know you would be here before the day was done and to get a move on! We dropped Micah off with Nehnie (Steph) and made it to the hospital around 1 that afternoon. I have no idea what we talked about the way there. I think we were both just excited, nervous and praying the labor and delivery would go quickly this time J

As soon as we were checked in to the hospital and put in a room I met my nurse whose name I can’t remember right now but let me tell you she was AMAZING. There was also a random man who was an EMT doing his maternity training. I can’t say I loved having him in there but I got over it J They broke my water almost immediately and started the pitocin. I remember the room being so quiet. No family had made it there yet since it was such short notice and my best friends were either watching my other child or at work. By the time I started feeling a good bit of pain I got an epidural (YAY!) and felt very comfortable. However shortly after that your heart rate began to drop and rise, drop and rise, drop and rise. The nurse switched my position constantly, had me on oxygen and was doing her best to keep me calm as tears were streaming down my face while I was imagining the worst. I had already been struggling with great fear the week or two prior because a dear friend’s daughter had lost her own baby boy during childbirth and another friend’s twins were struggling for their own lives in a NICU in Mobile, AL. My heart was so broken for those two women and I had been thinking about them so often that it was hard not to wonder if it happened to you too. I asked Zach to sit beside me and pray to himself while I sang Isaiah 43 to myself. I was being assured by all that you were fine and more than likely the umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck, but that it was an easy fix as soon as you were on the way out.

By 6:30 I was at 10 centimeters and a flurry of activity began while a number of people (all hospital workers) entered the room for the big moment. At 7:02, after a very short amount of pushing (Praise God again), the cord was removed and a big blonde baby boy was put on my chest. You stole my heart from moment one. I looked at your squishy little face and knew my heart had just doubled. My 2nd baby boy had entered the world, my Connor Thomas May was here to make my life that much more complete.


  1. I read your amazing story of Connor. I started crying as I became immersed in the telling of his birth. What a beautiful picture you painted. Your love for Connor and your love for your friends and what they were going through was priceless. Connor and Micah are blessed to have a mother like you who so willingly opens her heart to her boys. This story will be treasured forever!